What We Can't Understand
by Clair Lawson
Summary: Cory doesn't understand how Topanga feels and she finds understanding in a most surprising friend.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Boy Meets World**

**Author's Note: I edited like crazy today! Enjoy! And y'all leave me some of your thoughts. **

**Chapter One**

**The Unthinkable**

The glass shattered when it hit the wall behind her. Topanga flinched and did her best to dodge it but a few shards sliced her shoulder. She bit her lip and tried to hold back her tears. She ducked down before the next plate came hurtling at her head. A harsh voice ehoed in her ears.

_It's all your fault! You brought this on you, both of you. It's all your fault! _

It was so different from the gentle voice that she was used to hearing. She wondered when he had turned into this monster who came home so angry and violent. This wasn't her father. Her father was so kind and loving and he would never hurt his family. He used to bring her mother a bouquet of flowers after work. Topanga remembered how, just over a month ago, she had caught them dancing together in the kitchen. Her mother clung to him like he was the most important thing in the world and he stroked her long, soft hair. Their feet kept time to Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald. Their eyes were closed and they looked so happy. Topanga had rushed up the stairs when she saw them. She felt like she was intruding on something private. What had happened to change that? What had happened to her parent's love? What had happened to make the last five weeks the worst of Topanga's life? And why was her mother suddenly acting so helpless? She just sat there and took the abuse calmly. Topanga wanted to reach out and shake her. Her mother had always been the strong one. Why wasn't she protecting them now? Topanga didn't know what to do anymore. She didn't know what she had done to make everything crumble. She sank to the ground and watched as her father turned his anger to her mother. She closed her eyes and prayed that it would over for the night. She tried to block the sound of her mother's cries of pain and her father's palm slapping her face. She prayed with all her heart. She prayed that when she woke up in the morning everything would be like it was before. Before the insults and the blows and the fear. She closed her eyes tighter and winced at every noise. It seemed like hours passed before everything was silent again. Topanga kept her eyes closed and finally relaxed.

...

She woke up sitting against the wall. Her back and her neck were sore and her arm was caked in dried blood coming from her shoulder. She stood up slowly and looked around for her father. His briefcase and jacket were gone. He had already left for work. Topanga let out a sigh of relief and walked to her room to get ready for school. Her father had taught her to be prepared for anything and only three months ago, they had made a first aid kit and emergency pack together. Topanga thought it was ironic that the only times she had ever used either was because of her him. She grabbed a few band-aids from her first aid kit and walked to the bathroom to get a wet rag to wash up. It took her about five minutes to patch up the cuts on her shoulder. At least they weren't too deep. The bruises on her forearms and wrists would a little more difficult to explain. It was late August but it was still eighty degrees outside and as humid as ever. She knew she had to wear a long sleeved shirt and she hoped that no one would ask too many questions. The bruises were from Saturday evening. Topanga forgot to tell her dad that she was going out with Cory and when she got home, she paid for it.

She felt tears come to her eyes and she sat down on her bed, overwhelmed with confusion. What was wrong with her father? What had she done? She continued to get ready for school while trying not to think of anything at all.

...

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it right there, Miss Lawrence!" A voice shouted from down the hall. Topanga turned around. Mr. Turner was standing in his classroom doorway. "Are you going to grace us with your presence this morning?" Topanga kicked herself for getting to school late again. It was happening all too often lately. She just didn't feel that school mattered anymore. She realized that nothing she was learning could help her at home and she just couldn't handle all the stress anymore. She looked up at Mr. Turner. He seemed genuinely frustrated, though his voice had been light. Topanga felt her eyes fill with tears. She was starting to be a big disappointment to everyone. She just couldn't do anything right lately. But she put on her biggest smile.

"I'll be right there, Mr. Turner." She said brightly. "I'm sorry for running late. I'll try my best to keep it from happening again." Mr. Turner nodded.

"All right." He said. "Now let's get back to Huck Finn. Today we will be discussing how it's difficult to do the right thing when it's scary or looked down upon." Topanga blushed when she walked into the classroom and sat in the seat in front of Cory. He leaned forward and whispered in her ear.

"I tried to call you last night, but no one answered. Is everything all right?" He asked. Topanga cringed. He was so close to her. She felt herself stiffen but she tried to answer his question calmly.

"We were out all night." She said. "I would have called you back if I had been there." Cory nodded and put his hand on her shoulder. Sharp pain shot down her harm. She winced but Corey didn't seem to notice. She looked up at the ceiling and when she looked back down, she locked eyes with Shawn Hunter. He cocked an eyebrow and she could tell that he knew something was wrong.

"It's okay, schnookums." Cory said. "I forgive you for everything." He was so overdramatic and sincere that Topanga had to smile. At least she still had Cory. He would always understand her.

...

"Class dismissed!" Mr. Turner shouted as the bell rang. The students jumped out of their seats and headed for the door. Topanga grabbed her books and started to join them when she heard Mr. Turner ask for her to stay behind the ret of the class. She nodded and Cory sighed.

"Mr. Turner." He said, trying not to grin. "Who am I supposed to get to carry my books now?'

"I guess you'll have to look to your partner in crime." Mr. Turner said, pointing at Shawn. Cory shook his head.

"I don't think you see how you've thrown the delicate balance of the school system off course in under ten seconds." He said.

"I think the school system will last for a class period without Topanga walking down the halls with you." Mr. Turner answered. Cory didn't reply. He watched Topanga and waited for her to have a witty rebuttal to his every remark or a plea in his defense but she was just staring at the carpet like it was the most interesting thing she had ever seen.

"It think we better head out, Cor." Shawn said. Cory nodded. Shawn put his hand in front of Topanga's face and snapped twice. She looked up and he looked at her, concern written on his face. She put on a smile and waved to both of the boys. They smiled and waved back before they left the classroom, confused and concerned.

Topanga walked to the front of Mr. Turner's desk.

"Yes, Mr. Turner?" She asked. Mr. Turner pointed to the desk in front of his.

"Have a seat, Miss Lawrence." He said. She sat down quickly. Mr. Turner waited a few seconds before he started to speak again. "So do you want to tell me what's been going on with you lately? And don't give me any of that 'nothing' crap. Something is going on. You're late for my class, you're not doing your homework assignments. You have a D in my class right now, Topanga! All of this is so unlike you so please tell me what's going on."

Topanga's mouth dried up. How could she tell Mr. Turner what was wrong, when she didn't understand it? And she could never tell him what was going on, her dad would kill her for sure. Besides, it wasn't Mr. Turner's problem. She searched her mind for an excuse, any excuse to give him. She sat silently for a minute or two

"Is there something going on at home that I should know about?" He asked.

"No!" Topanga said quickly and loudly. Mr. Turner looked a her in the eyes. She looked down at the floor.

"Are you sure?" He asked. Topanga nodded.

"There's nothing that you need to worry about, I'm fine. I promise." She said. "If I don't leave now, I'll be late for Geometry." Mr. Turner nodded.

"I can write you a pass if you need one." He said, "It's my planning period so if you ever need to just stay after class for a few minutes to just talk, I'm here." Topanga gave him a weak smile.

"I'll keep that in mind.: She said and she picked up her books from her desk, stood up and left the room. She started walking toward the girl's bathroom. She didn't think she could face Ms Boyce. She could fel tears coming to her eyes. She couldn't believe that she had lied to Mr. Turner. He just wanted to help her but Topanga knew what would happen if she ever told him what was going on. Her father would be in trouble. Everyone would know about what was happening. Her father wouldn't be able to show his face to any of his friends again. Topanga didn't want that. She just wanted her dad back.

Mr. Turner watched Topanga walk into the bathroom. Something was very wrong with Topanga Lawrence. If only he could figure out what it was. He stood in his classroom door for a few seconds before he saw Shawn Hunter standing by his locker. Mr. Turner walked up to him quickly.

"Shawn." He said. "I need you to do me a favor." Shawn swung his locker shut.

"Something's up with Topanga and you want to figure out what it is." Mr. Turner nodded.

"How did you know?" He asked. Shawn shrugged. "Can you find out what it is?" Shawn nodded.

"I know that something is really bothering her and I think I know what it is." He said. "But I don't want to say anything until I know for sure." Mr. Turner put his hand on Shawn's shoulder.

"Thank you, Shawn." He said.

"No problem."

Shawn watched Topanga closely all day. He noticed that she kept pulling down on her sleeves and wincing. She kept trying to keep her left shoulder from touching the people around her, which was really tough when Cory was around. He thought he saw her tear up once or twice but she pretended to be happy and carefree. Shawn felt his heart sink to his stomach. He did know what was wrong with Topanga. He just prayed that he was dead wrong.


End file.
